Friday, May 30, 2014

Temptations


Temptation.  Boy, what a timely theme for www.illustrationfriday.com  I just about lost my patience with my naughty cat Hana today.  Imagine a cat with a naughty streak that has the intelligence of a monkey. Well, that's Hana.  You'd be tempted to get a dog instead right?  She is the cat in this illustration.  I've posted this for i.f. before.  But I really kneaded to vent today.  

I learned early on to guard the food on my plate.  Because the fact that she loves to sit on my lap while I'm eating always has ulterior motives.  She will just grab the food right off my plate.  Or swipe it off onto the couch.  Uff da.  That's why I did this tempting cheesecake illustration.  I was attempting to mitigate my frustrations through my art.

But stealing and or contaminating food isn't her only offence.

 1)  There's rampant bra strap chewing.  (when I'm not wearing them)  Preferably my expensive Blue Canoe ones. AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!

2)   Total flip flop destruction  (unless you like your flops dotted with fang shaped vents)

3)  Water glass contamination.  She loves to stick her paw into check water levels.  A visual check is not enough.  I'm sure she does this every time she exits the litter box.  

4)  Unsolicited paper parties before lunch.  It is not really a party.   But she turns all newspapers, magazines, letters and books into confetti that litters the floor.  Just because she thinks today will be the day that no food will come. Unless she throws this party first.  Day after day.  Sigh.

5)  Soap licking.  The worst part is that she prefers to lick it off my face mid wash.  It kind of defeats the purpose of washing in the first place.  I always wonder if my face was cleaner before or after. 

6) Expensive cheese addiction.  She'll steal anything.  But if you leave a bag of parmigano reggiano on the table you are just asking for trouble.  That bag will disappear faster than it takes to throw a noodle on the fridge. 

7)  The deadly ninja claw cat attack.  She likes to perform this while we watch T.V.  We are all relaxed and purrfectly content.  Until a  faint sound occurs outside.  Then she propels herself off your lap using her claws for extra fuel.  Nice.

8)  Extreme hair chewing.  She has had Pika since she was born.  That's one of the reasons she is kicked out of the bedroom at night.

9)  Marathon crying sessions. (because she is kicked out of the bedroom at night)  I never knew a voice box could go on that long.

10)  Exiting the house backwards.  She is so fast that she will be in the street before you shut the door.  Now we have to awkwardly step out backwards so we can see her coming.  For God's Sake!

Enough said.



8 comments:

DJan said...

She not only is smart, but also cunning, I suspect. I laughed out loud, and then I commiserated with you and hope she never crosses MY path. :-)

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

You are a patient cat owner!

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Your kitty has a big personality!
love
tweedles

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I know these things can be frustrating, but I had to laugh as I read this. You know I love cats, too, so I've experienced many of these things. Chase Bird thinks he has to do whatever Larry and I are doing, especially eat. He took a chunk out of a piece of angel food cake the other night from Larry, then apparently didn't like it--flung it out. lol

Caren Gittleman said...

oh this had me laughing!!! Cody is a major food thief too, he never stops. Also, he does the Ninja claw thing as well.
This post was just hilarious!

Hilary said...

Cats are insane. And most wonderful. My guys will eat through a loaf of bread.. not all of it but just enough to make it stale real fast.

I love the illustration and all the crazy cat antics. Gotta love them. :)

Creations By Mit said...

Ha ha!!! Great illo, and funny story! Although I admit, it makes me VERY glad I have had a turtle for the last 20+ years! No chance of him stealing food off my plate! :)

Pat Tillett said...

We have four cats and they all have their own personality traits.
Hana sounds like a handful! What a personality.
The illustration is fantastic!